100% Puro de Sangre

Friends Don't Let Friends Drink Friends: A Bottle of O-Positive. Serve Warm!

My wife and I are fanatically addicted to the HBO series, "True Blood". For those who have not watched it -- or read the books -- the story is set in a world where vampires have come "out of the coffin" so to speak, to live and coexist with the rest of us mere mortals. What has made it possible for vampire-kind to shed their shroud of secrecy (and theoretically stop killing and feeding on people) is the invention of a synthetic blood, aptly named "Tru-Blood". It comes in bottles labeled with the different "flavors"; O-Positive, A-Negative, etc. Before consuming, the bottle must be briefly heated in the microwave to 98.6 degrees.

Our favorite character on the show is the flamboyantly gay Lafayette Reynolds, artfully played by the young actor Nelsan Ellis. By day Lafayette is the fussy, "don't fuck with me I'm hungover" short-order cook at Sam Merlotte's Bar & Grill. By night, he prowls the vampire underworld as a male prostitute whose vamp johns pay him with vials of their own blood. You see, vampire-blood, or "V", as its known, is a powerful hallucinogen when ingested by normal humans. Oh yes! Thrill seekers pay big bucks for just a few drops of The V. It is very illegal, and very addictive. (Not only that, if the Vamps find out you're dealing their blood, we'll let's just say that's the end of you! You see, Vampires have been killed for their blood).

So basically, Lafayette is a gay whore and "V" dealer. Love it!

So, why on earth do I blog about this on Rancho de Tequila?

Because there's a subversive little product-placement situation happening on this show, and it has to do with Tequila.

You see, while some people are imbibing "V" or Tru-Blood or Beer, Lafayette is never without his glass of Patron. He is regularly seen padding around with a high-ball glass of silver and a twist of lime sunk in to the glass. No ice. When Lafayette runs low, he walks out from the kitchen and around to the bar at Merlotte's, grabs the Patron bottle and tops off his glass. At noon!


Lafayette with his ever-present glass of Patron...

Anyone who knows me knows I am no big fan of Patron, but I do love this aspect of the character of Lafayette. He likes Tru-Agave! Pura Sangre!

I wonder how much the Patron company pays for this subtle -- this subversive -- product placement?

True Blood's HBO Homepage

Patron: The Perfect Poser?

Shall we Patron-ize? (BTW: What's with the Bee? Is it saying, "Drink me for the buzz?")

Patron Patron Patron....Love it? Hate it? Over-rated? Over priced? Is it real? fake? A poser? Liquid gold or Donkey Wizz?

Many -- I'd say MOST -- tequila aficionados are staunchly anti-Patron. While I have problems with Patron in-general, I'm not as vehement. I call it "tequila with training wheels". Why? Because it's designed to be smooth and ultra-drinkable for people who don't have an experienced tequila pallette. It's like the vodka/martini people who never had a shot until Grey Goose came along (when some were drinking Stoli in the '80s). For many, Patron's the first and only pure agave tequila they've had; it's the only name they know other than Jose Cuervo.

Due to very good marketing, Patron has positioned itself as the one and only ultra-premium, and has priced itself accordingly. They're using one of the oldest marketing ploys in the world - make it expensive so people think it's the best. The strategy has worked like a charm. People are paying $50 per bottle and up. Is it worth it? Well in my not-so-humble opinion, no. Don't get me wrong, it's not bad tequila. In fact I like the reposado quite a bit. Many of the so-called Patron lovers have never tried the repo. They're stuck on the silver (blanco) which is ok, but there are far superior blancos out there for a lot less money. I could name half-a-dozen right now (but I won't). In fact, I have talked to Patron-izers who actually don't know about the other types of tequila (reposado, anejo, etc.) or the difference between a mixto and a 100%. They are simply happy to pay $7-a-shot for the schtuff.

The truth is that Patron is an American company, based in Las Vegas, and owned buy a guy who has been successful in the industry of hair salon products (Paul Mitchell Systems).

As far as taste, I find Patron Silver one-dimensional. It's not rich and complex, like ultra premium tequila tends to be. The bigger problem I have with it is the price. A good, I mean really good, blanco should be $10 to $20 less. For really good reposado or anejo I might spend $50. In fact, the only blanco I would ever spend upwards of $50 for would be La Fortaleza, which pisses all over Patron and then won't call Patron in the morning...or ever again, for that matter.

Here's a great review of Patron that really hits the target: Patron The Peroxide Blonde