www.ranchotequila.net

A Tequila Blog by Drew "Pale Rider" Townson

"There's nothing better than good tequila, and there's nothing worse than bad tequila," Drew Townson

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Cazadores, The Hunter

Actually it's Los Cazadores, The Hunters, plural. This is a tequila that needs to be talked about, because even though it's a minor player in the US Tequila market, the brand is a favorite in Mexico itself. Cazadores actually claims to be the number one 100% agave tequila in Mexico. (Keep in mind, Mexicans by-and-large drink mixtos, reportedly because 100% agave tequilas are too expensive).


La Botella Vieja

I first discovered Cazadores quite by accident back in 2003. I went to a whisky tasting that was being held at a nice hotel. It was $90 for a ticket. God only knows how I afforded that then, 'cause I could never throw $90 at a booze event these days. Anyhoo, so there I was sipping one fine scotch after the next, making the round of the room, and I came to a table that had, not whisky, but -- whaddya know -- tequila! Huh! That was a surprise. And the thing I love equally to good scotch is good tequila, so I was more than eager to sample the offering. It was Cazadores (Reposado), which I had never heard of before. It was in the original-style bottle that looked like it belonged in an old-west saloon. It had the noble buck on it, but it was much more crudely labelled than what you see now. The people at the booth told me their company had just aquired it -- first time it would be available in the States. They described going to the factory in Mexico, way up in the mountains on some scary dirt road that was more of a burro path than a road. Apparently it took all day to get to this remote place. They also told me that this was the tequila Mexicans drink! That really peaked my interest.

So I had a gulp.

"Wow" I exhaled, "That is some really good tequila!" It had a very pure and full-bodied taste of agave, along with some pepper and spice. I didn't taste anything metallic or sour. Obviously this was a classic juice hand-made from weber blue agave. I liked it...ALOT! (Of course by this time I was already feeling the warm glow of good whisky, so I was all lovey-dovey and shit).

The people told me they were going to clean up and modernize the bottle/label, and when that was done I should start seeing it in stores. First would be the reposado at around $30, then blanco and anejo would follow.

Sure enough, in just a short time I saw Caza Repo on the shelves of my local store, which has always had a great tequila aisle. And sure enough, they had improved the look of the packaging with a smooth new label that essentially reproduced the old one using much better art and graphics. I believe they literally re-illustrated the deer from scratch. One thing they didn't change was the damn Mexican measured-shot dispenser on the top. Why they need that on an export bottle I don't know, but it drives me up a wall.


Fancy New Bottle, But What's Inside?

Naturally, I bought the bottle and was not disappointed by the contents. Just as good as I had expected. Made some deadly 'ritas with it. Good stuff!

The next time we encountered The Great Hunter was in Florida in 2004. We went down for a wedding, after-which we took a couple days at a nice sea-side inn on Anna Maria Island. The place had a kitchenette, complete with a blender. So like Buffett, I set out to put booze in it. The little local liquor store did NOT look promising. I figured it would be one of those classic places with a crappy tequila shelf with about six bottles of Cuervo this and Cuervo that. I was right; it had a really small, bad selection -- except for one bottle. Yes. You've guessed it! There sat a an old-west saloon bottle sporting a yellow label with a handsome but poorly-printed buck on it. Not only did they have Cazadores, but they had it in the OLD pre-redesign bottle that I had seen at the tasting. It was even dusty. Score!

Using Caza Repo, I invented a 'rita there at the hotel called The Blue Tortuga, that we drank by the pool. Good times had been hunted, sighted, and bagged!

Then came trouble.

The next bottle of The Deer I bought was not good. It was not good at all. It was sour and barely drinkable. It tasted a little bit like liquid cigarette-butts. Ooof! Bad news. Scared me! It bore little resemblance to the honey-toned juice I'd had before. I was not hunting for edgy and harsh, which was what I got.

By this time the Caza Blanco had hit the shelves. I love blancos, so I thought, this has gotta be good. BZZZZZ! WRONG! I hated it.

What had gone wrong with mi cariño Cazadores? ¿Mi novia, a donde vas? To this day I have not tried the anejo because I cannot spend that much money and be disappointed. Nice bottle though! The brand is now well-marketed and has gained popularity. They even sponser like Nascar or pro boxing or something.

Right around this time I discovered Corralejo Reposado, a good, solid, flavorful repo that is lightly rested so it has a lot of fresh agave punch. It's actually closer to a blanco than a reposado, with a very light olive-oil tint. It's not my favorite tequila, but it makes a damn good drink and it's sippable as well. It's a real basic 100% agave tequila. (It should be noted that I do not like Corralejo's blanco or anejo, OR the very expensive reposado triple-distilled). It should go for under $30, but this is Mass, so it goes here for almost $40, which is just on the edge of being not worth it. Seen it as low as $25 on some web-stores.

So, the conclusion to this tale is that, with Corralejo and others like Herradura and Espolón being readily available, I have long ago said goodbye to my dear old Deer. Maybe I'll check back in with him again someday, and reminisce over those good times we had back in 2003 and 2004. (Of course, the thing about tequila is, if you actually remember drinking tequila, well, you didn't drink enough tequila).

Cazadores Reposado Reviews on Tequila.net

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

The Curse of Pale Rider!


Posada knew how I feel right now...

I am truly cursed!

Talk about a grown man crying! Well, some of you already have been following my valiant attempts to get a bottle of Fortaleza Blanco from a store in California and a bottle of Don Valent Blanco from my sister. These were "birthday gifts" for my b-day on June 5th. Well, for some dark comic relief, here's how things stand as of today...

I, the Fortaleza: The first bottle that arrived was tainted due to rotten cork. Even Guillermo Sauza took an interest in the problem, but ultimately I sent the bottle back to Ramirez in LA. Once they recieved it, they sent me a replacement. This whole thing took more than a month. I finally got the replacement and guess what? Not as bad, but still a sour bottle of tequila. Cork looks dark and crappy, juice smells and tastes sour and metallic. At this point I'm not sure what to do. Maybe it's the actual shipping from west to east coast that's causing the problem.

II, the DV: It took about 5 weeks for my sister in Denton Texas to acquire a bottle, and it took the help of the local distributer there, Robert Sturdenvant. It was special-ordered through a store in Lake Dallas. Sis, a tequila lover herself, couldn't resist and opened the bottle for a taste. Next thing you know, she and a friend had consumed the whole thing! Happy birthday to me! So, she special orders ANOTHER bottle and two or three weeks later I get a Fedex saying it's been shipped. That was yesterday, Finally, I thought, I'll have some new juice by the weekend! Rejoice!

Then, tragedy! TODAY I get an email from Fedex saying the shipment will not be completed due to damaged contents. Yes! Can you believe it? The freakin' BOTTLE BROKE! Holy shit!

OK, well, I give up!

Fuck it!

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

100% Puro de Sangre


Friends Don't Let Friends Drink Friends: A Bottle of O-Positive. Serve Warm!

My wife and I are fanatically addicted to the HBO series, "True Blood". For those who have not watched it -- or read the books -- the story is set in a world where vampires have come "out of the coffin" so to speak, to live and coexist with the rest of us mere mortals. What has made it possible for vampire-kind to shed their shroud of secrecy (and theoretically stop killing and feeding on people) is the invention of a synthetic blood, aptly named "Tru-Blood". It comes in bottles labeled with the different "flavors"; O-Positive, A-Negative, etc. Before consuming, the bottle must be briefly heated in the microwave to 98.6 degrees.

Our favorite character on the show is the flamboyantly gay Lafayette Reynolds, artfully played by the young actor Nelsan Ellis. By day Lafayette is the fussy, "don't fuck with me I'm hungover" short-order cook at Sam Merlotte's Bar & Grill. By night, he prowls the vampire underworld as a male prostitute whose vamp johns pay him with vials of their own blood. You see, vampire-blood, or "V", as its known, is a powerful hallucinogen when ingested by normal humans. Oh yes! Thrill seekers pay big bucks for just a few drops of The V. It is very illegal, and very addictive. (Not only that, if the Vamps find out you're dealing their blood, we'll let's just say that's the end of you! You see, Vampires have been killed for their blood).

So basically, Lafayette is a gay whore and "V" dealer. Love it!

So, why on earth do I blog about this on Rancho de Tequila?

Because there's a subversive little product-placement situation happening on this show, and it has to do with Tequila.

You see, while some people are imbibing "V" or Tru-Blood or Beer, Lafayette is never without his glass of Patron. He is regularly seen padding around with a high-ball glass of silver and a twist of lime sunk in to the glass. No ice. When Lafayette runs low, he walks out from the kitchen and around to the bar at Merlotte's, grabs the Patron bottle and tops off his glass. At noon!


Lafayette with his ever-present glass of Patron...

Anyone who knows me knows I am no big fan of Patron, but I do love this aspect of the character of Lafayette. He likes Tru-Agave! Pura Sangre!

I wonder how much the Patron company pays for this subtle -- this subversive -- product placement?

True Blood's HBO Homepage

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Patron: The Perfect Poser?


Shall we Patron-ize? (BTW: What's with the Bee? Is it saying, "Drink me for the buzz?")

Patron Patron Patron....Love it? Hate it? Over-rated? Over priced? Is it real? fake? A poser? Liquid gold or Donkey Wizz?

Many -- I'd say MOST -- tequila aficionados are staunchly anti-Patron. While I have problems with Patron in-general, I'm not as vehement. I call it "tequila with training wheels". Why? Because it's designed to be smooth and ultra-drinkable for people who don't have an experienced tequila pallette. It's like the vodka/martini people who never had a shot until Grey Goose came along (when some were drinking Stoli in the '80s). For many, Patron's the first and only pure agave tequila they've had; it's the only name they know other than Jose Cuervo.

Due to very good marketing, Patron has positioned itself as the one and only ultra-premium, and has priced itself accordingly. They're using one of the oldest marketing ploys in the world - make it expensive so people think it's the best. The strategy has worked like a charm. People are paying $50 per bottle and up. Is it worth it? Well in my not-so-humble opinion, no. Don't get me wrong, it's not bad tequila. In fact I like the reposado quite a bit. Many of the so-called Patron lovers have never tried the repo. They're stuck on the silver (blanco) which is ok, but there are far superior blancos out there for a lot less money. I could name half-a-dozen right now (but I won't). In fact, I have talked to Patron-izers who actually don't know about the other types of tequila (reposado, anejo, etc.) or the difference between a mixto and a 100%. They are simply happy to pay $7-a-shot for the schtuff.

The truth is that Patron is an American company, based in Las Vegas, and owned buy a guy who has been successful in the industry of hair salon products (Paul Mitchell Systems).

As far as taste, I find Patron Silver one-dimensional. It's not rich and complex, like ultra premium tequila tends to be. The bigger problem I have with it is the price. A good, I mean really good, blanco should be $10 to $20 less. For really good reposado or anejo I might spend $50. In fact, the only blanco I would ever spend upwards of $50 for would be La Fortaleza, which pisses all over Patron and then won't call Patron in the morning...or ever again, for that matter.

Here's a great review of Patron that really hits the target: Patron The Peroxide Blonde